How To Stop Avoiding Important Issues

Do you seem to be avoiding important issues in your life these days? Most of us presumably consider ourselves to be honest people. Outside the occasional odd white lie, we find it difficult to lie to our friends and loved ones.

This makes it all the more confusing when we find it so easy to lie to ourselves.

You might have bristled at this thought, huffed, and thought, “I do no such thing!”

The nine lies listed below are common lies we tell ourselves as a way of avoiding important issues and thus not being able to create the best life for ourselves. Sometimes they are harmless, but often they hold us back from reaching our goals. These lies can hold us back from having the life we desire.

I’ll Get to It Eventually

How many times have you told yourself this, then failed to “get to it”? If you are like most of us, plenty of times!

It is much better to set a specific deadline for all of your tasks. Alternatively, you could just do it now and be done with it.

I Can’t Escape my Past

Many of us have skeletons in our closets, or if not, the trauma that we never properly dealt with.

The reality is you can get over your past. Your past doesn’t define you.

You might have to work a little harder or work on yourself, but you can get past your past.

There is Something Wrong With Me

Have you ever felt like such a failure that you assume there must be something wrong with you?

This is a powerful lie that can hold you back from even trying to accomplish your goals. This is a lie we use as a way of avoiding important issues.

Whether you are different, struggling, or even failing, that is the circumstance. That isn’t who you inherently are as a person.

I Know Exactly What I am Doing

Having self-confidence is a powerful tool in your arsenal. Sometimes it even helps to fake confidence!

That said, we need to be careful not to go overboard.

There is nothing wrong with being honest that you need some help.

There is strength in asking if you don’t know what you are doing.

I Would be Happy If Only…

I know it’s easy to focus on what you want or think you need for happiness, but it rarely works out that way.

Even if you acquire what you think you need to be happy, you will just move the goalposts further and think about something else.

You need to figure out how to be happier on your terms.

I am Too Busy to…

While this is true sometimes, and especially true for people who are working and raising a family, a lot of the time, it isn’t.

Downtime is important, but almost all of us waste time in some fashion. It is just another lie so that we are able to continue avoiding important issues.

Take an honest appraisal of your day, and you will likely find some extra time to spare.

I Can Change Him or Her

I bet a couple of you are nodding in agreement about this one!

Many of us have this moment where we meet someone we like, but they are toxic to be around.

You think that with enough love and caring, you can change this person.

We always find out that we can’t. It isn’t even our job to try and change someone else. That’s on them.

I’m Too Old To…

I heard a 25-year-old the other day say they were too old to do something. I had never felt older.

The reality is, we can still do almost anything we want as we age.

It’s never too late to go back to school or change careers. In fact it is not too late to take chances.

It’s never too late for you to try and live the life you dream about.

I’m a Failure

While all of us will deal with failure at one time, that does not make us failures.

Failure is something we deal with; it isn’t something we are.

If you feel like a born loser that always fails, try to focus on your wins.

We all have some wins in our lives, no matter how small they may seem.

Also, failing is good – it is the best way to learn about yourself.

Here are Some Actionable Steps:

Read over the list of lies we tell ourselves and figure out if you use any of them. Pay special attention to any lies you might use regularly.
Take a sheet of paper, and mark a line down the center from top to bottom. On the left-hand side, write down the lies you tell yourself. Feel free to add any other lies we may have missed as well.
On the right-hand side of the paper, counter each of those lies. Either write down reasons they aren’t true or the steps you can take to ensure they aren’t true.