You can build self-confidence so that you can experience less anxiety. As well as building self-confidence that will allow you to take smart risks so that you can move out of your comfort zone. You will also have a lot more freedom when it comes to social anxiety.
For a lot of people, self-confidence does not come naturally. If this is you, you will need to take some deliberate steps and be conscious of what you need to do.
Here are some steps you can take that will help you build your self-confidence and reduce stress and anxiety in your life.
#1 – Making Goals
When we set goals for things we want to accomplish we are more likely to achieve them. This is true for self-confidence as well.
If there is something you don’t feel you can do, make a goal along with some steps that you need to take in order to realize the goal.
Let’s suppose that you are interested in learning a foreign language. First of all, you have to decide what language you want to learn.
As an example, let’s say you have decided that you want to learn French.
Your goal might look like this: I learn to speak French through an online language course.
Then you have to take the steps to complete the goal such as how often you are going to spend time on the course.
Some online language sites such as Duolingo will give rewards as you progress.
So here is what a plan to accomplish your goal might look like:
- Learn to speak French
- Sign up for an online French course
- Spend an hour a day learning to speak French
- Find other people to speak to who already know French
There are other items you can add to your plan on how you will accomplish this goal. You just have to be proactive.
It doesn’t matter if you are trying to improve a relationship, your career, or self-improvement, writing down your goal along with the steps you need to take, means that the goal will be less scary and you will see how you can accomplish any goal.
As a result, you will see that you are able to build self-confidence!
#2 – Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Everyone is different. Everyone has things they are good at, and things they are not good at.
You are enough!
Yes, it is great to have aspirations and want to improve yourself, but by comparing yourself to others, you end up sabotaging your own success.
For example, if you would like to be a better cook or a better singer, you might be inspired by the people who are accomplished in those areas.
It is one thing to be inspired, it is quite another thing to beat yourself up because you don’t think you could be successful in those areas.
You only get discouraged and give up when you compare yourself to others’ accomplishments and you don’t end up being able to live your best life.
#3 – Building a Positive Self-Image
Did you know that when you believe you will fail at something, you are more likely to fail when you do try to accomplish something?
If you have a negative self-image and believe that it is impossible to achieve something, you are likely going to fail.
This is a vicious circle because the more you put yourself down and don’t believe in yourself, the more proof you will have that you are a loser.
When we stop listening to the negative voice that tells us we will fail, we will find we can actually achieve the goals we set for ourselves. As well we find a way to build self-confidence in ourselves.
Failure does not mean that you are a failure. It only means that you learned what didn’t work.
Another way to build a positive self-image is to write in a gratitude journal daily. It is a great way to appreciate all that you have.
#4 – Getting to Know Yourself
One of the ways you can get to know yourself better is by writing in a journal. Find some quiet time and write down all your strengths along with your perceived weaknesses.
You should also write down any quirks you feel you have and as well any talents.
Pretend like you are being interviewed and think of questions someone would ask you about yourself.
Another way to find out more about yourself is to ask people you trust what they see in you. You might be surprised how well thought of you are!
#5 – Be Less Engaged in the Media
All the stuff you read on social media or what you watch in movies and TV is enough to make anyone believe they are not good enough.
If you are a woman, this is particularly true. There are so many commercials telling us what is wrong with us!
Well having healthy hair is a good thing, taking it to the extreme when trying to look like someone else, is only going to make you feel bad about yourself. This is no way to build self-confidence.
The women we see in magazines and on the red carpet have had a team of people doing their makeup and styling their clothes.
Even they are not perfect when the makeup and clothes come off.
How to Change Your Mindset and Improve Self-Confidence
If you find yourself stuck in a negative mindset, you could be suffering from low self-confidence.
This is probably affecting the way you think about yourself and is messing with your positive self-esteem.
A negative mindset tends to have a lot of the words “always” or “never” in its vocabulary.
This can lead to a sense of hopelessness.
Here are a few examples of a negative mindset resulting in you having little confidence in your abilities:
I will never get it right.
When we think like this we are probably not going to give much effort and even trying the first time let alone giving it another try if we fail.
This way of thinking makes it very easy to give up.
Nobody understands what this is like.
It is not unusual when we lack the self-confidence to believe that everyone else has got things figured out.
We feel that we are being left out. We feel isolated and that others have successful lives and we don’t.
I am totally useless.
When we lack self-confidence, we can feel like we don’t have anything valuable to contribute. This can affect our jobs, relationships, or anything we are trying to accomplish.
I am a complete failure.
No one is a complete failure. Yes, we can fail at something but that doesn’t make us a failure. When we feel this way we take a blow to our self-confidence and self-esteem.
I could never do that.
If you follow social media you probably see people on Instagram posting images of their successful lifestyle. Are you wishing that was you?
Those people are, for the most part, playing a part. They are showing the best parts of themselves that may or may not be accurate.
If you are trying to obtain that lifestyle and believing you can’t, you are only making yourself depressed.
Here is a list of successful people who have failed:
- Albert Einstein: He didn’t speak until he was four years old. He failed his entrance exam to the Swiss Federal Polytechnic School at sixteen. He even failed as an insurance salesman!
- Beyonce Knowles: When Beyonce was nine years old, her girl group appeared on Star Search and lost.
- Henry Ford: He is probably one of the most famous car makers. His first company went bankrupt. Also, his second company failed for him after a dispute with partners made him leave that company.
- Jim Carrey: He may be a comedic legend today, but he grew up poor. In his teen years, he worked as a janitor to help out his family. He was booed off the stage during his first appearance at a comedy club.
- J.K. Rowling: Today she is seen as a successful author. When she was a single mother on welfare, she started writing the Harry Potter stories. Before the books were published, twelve major publishing houses rejected them.
- Katy Perry: Although today she is a very successful singer, her first album sold a measly two hundred copies. She was dropped by two labels after her first label went out of business. It took her ten years to be a success with her hit song, I Kissed a Girl!
- Oprah Winfrey: She grew up in poverty. She was abused as a child and got pregnant at fourteen. The baby died shortly after birth. She was fired from her first TV job as being unfit for television.
- Stephen King: He may be well known today as an author of horror stories but threw his first book Carrie into the trash as he didn’t believe in it. It was his wife who retrieved it. Before being accepted by Double Day it was rejected by thirty other publishers.
- Sylvester Stallone: At one point he was homeless and lived in the New Jersey Port Authority bus station. He was broke when he wrote the script for Rocky. He was persistent in trying to get a job in the movies after being rejected over 1,500 times by talent scouts.
How Can You Overcome these Mindsets?
You are going to need to reprogram your mind if you want to build self-confidence in yourself and your abilities. Also, you will need to pay attention to any negative self-talk and change it to something more positive.
You could change “I will never get it right” to a more positive statement such as “I may be having trouble learning this, but I will get help so I can succeed”.
Perhaps you should consider counseling if you feel you can’t get unstuck from these mindsets. Or you could hire a life coach.
These people can help you set realistic goals so you can build self-confidence.
Just remember that you don’t have to live your life thinking you can’t do something or you are not good enough.
You can do anything you set your mind to along with a little help from people who fought through their failures on the way to success!
