When something in our life ends, it can be painful and scary. But every ending can be a new beginning, leading to something better.
Is it possible to turn an ending into a new beginning? Yes, it is.
Psychologists offer these tips for making endings a new and better beginning.
It seems that the last couple of years has resulted in a lot of loss. Loss of our freedom to move around the world without having to worry about catching a virus.
Loss of being able to see family and friends and having to adapt to a new normal.
Some of us have lost friends and family members on top of all the other losses we have had to contend with.
So, let’s take a look at how we are really coping with loss.
Finding Closure to Start New Beginnings
In psychological terms, closure is the transition away from something old or completed to something new and different.
Life coaches, who specialize in helping people make new starts, state that closure of something old is vital to having a positive new beginning.
Many life events have a pre-determined closure.
High school and college end with graduation, apprenticeships end when you’ve gained enough experience, and even vacations end when you need to go back to work.
While it’s great to have good memories of these situations, you need to close those parts of your life to move forward successfully.
Like divorce or being fired, unplanned events also need closure, or you will spend more time focused on what ended than on what is beginning for you.
When it comes to losses that don’t involve the death of someone you love, it is important to take responsibility for your part.
Did you miss too much work to get fired? If you didn’t spend enough time studying, poor grades in school are your responsibility.
Acknowledging your role and grieving what you lost, good or bad, help you find closure before starting a new beginning.
Start New Beginnings by Focusing on Strengths
It is important to focus on your strengths when it comes to overcoming a loss.
You can use your strengths to make a plan, so you can create a new beginning that is positive and productive.
According to psychologists at the University of California Los Angles, you cannot change without growth and learning.
An ending is a perfect time to create a new beginning and make changes in your life.
To help to make an ending a new beginning, consider that change is:
- Disruptive
- Personal
- A risk
Disruptive: An ending is disruptive to your life. New situations can cause anxiety and stress. But a disruptive ending is time to start a new beginning.
Personal: Changes you make now are personal. Take the time to ask yourself what you want from your life. A new beginning is an opportunity to make the changes that will make you happier.
Risk: Change is also a risk. You have a choice. You can cling to what has ended, which risks limiting your growth and potential. Or you can embrace a new beginning, which risks making mistakes or even failure.
Learning New Ways to Function
Change comes from growth, and growth comes from learning new ways of functioning. You may make mistakes along the way.
You may fail, but that ending is another opportunity for a new beginning.
Each new beginning builds on what you have learned, good and bad, from previous endings.
Yes, an ending allows us to make a new beginning where we can improve ourselves and our life.
You might have to ask yourself what you liked about your life before the ending. Or perhaps ask what did you not like?
A new beginning allows you to make changes and improvements.
Being Grateful for New Beginnings
Gratitude for what you have and for the opportunity to gain more helps you accept an ending and turn it into a new beginning.
An ending can be a new beginning any time you focus on the positive changes you can make.
Close the end chapter in your life and start changing, growing, and learning to help you live your best life.
Grief Recovery Healthy Rituals
If you are grieving the loss of a loved one, there are some things you can do to relieve some of the pain. One way is to develop some rituals.
Here are a few suggestions of healthy rituals you could try.
Find Pictures: Develop a photo album, scrapbook, or journal of pleasant memories to view when you want to remember your loved one.
Find a Way to Honor the Person: Establish a ritual for anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, and other times.
This might include a visit to the cemetery, flowers by the urn, planting a tree, placing a special rock or another symbolic token on the headstone, a special toast at holiday dinners, or other actions.
Establish a Trust or Memorial Fund: Some people establish a trust or memorial to fund scholarships or contribute to their favorite charity in the name of their lost loved one.
Alternatively, you might recommend that people donate money to a specific fund or charity, such as a cancer organization or non-profit for a disease such as Multiple Sclerosis, in memory of your beloved.
If you would like to make a list of some healthy rituals to honor a loved one here is a Grief-Recovery-Healthy-Rituals-Worksheet.
Adopt a Growth Mindset
The truth is every single end brings a new beginning. It’s up to you to adopt a growth mindset that recognizes that as the fact it is.
There are four words you can use to see every ending as a new beginning and those words: “from here on out.”
Using these four words you can add positive statements to overcome the pain of a loss:
- From here on out I will let go of the things of which I cannot control.
- From here on out I will accept reality and embrace it. Things happen for me, they do not happen to me.
- From here on out I will hold on tight to all of the good things in my life.
- From here on out I will appreciate every lesson.
- From here on out I will celebrate the end for what it is, a new beginning.
These are just a few suggestions. You can create your own positive statement that fits your particular situation.
How to Begin Again Video:
Final Thoughts:
When our life falls apart, it is only natural that we resist the change. In fact, we often find ourselves grasping even tighter onto the past.
The past is familiar. The future is scary and unknown.
So we hold on tight to what we know and we end up smothered in our own sorrow.
Sometimes the key to a new beginning is to take a leap of faith. To take action and maybe find that on the other side life is good again.
